So as we are newlyweds it is great to slowly find out the wonderful weird things we didn't know about our spouse. You are on you honeymoon and then to find out your husband isn't as perfect as you thought. I mean he has morning breath and he is a total blanket stealer. Also he likes to sleep on a diagonal on the bed.
At first you are lovey dovey newly weds and you are so sweet to each other. Then: Honey did you know you steal all the blankets at night? Now: You stupid poo quit stealing the blankets at night you freakin' wiener! Then: Honey did you know you are a bed hog and sleep on a diagonal? Now: See this line? This is the divider. This is your side and this is my side. We can snuggle on the line but if your feet end up where mine should be i'll pee and poo on them and then cut them off! Deal?
Tyler also sleeps like a rock. He mine as well be dead once he is asleep. And once he is asleep the blanket hogging diagonal sleeper returns. The other problem is I am such a light sleeper. I wake up to almost anything. Then he wonders why I like to sleep in on the weekends.
The great thing about this all is I have a sleeping.... lets call it a sleeping malfunction that just is so great that we end up even. For some reason when I scream in my dreams, I scream out loud in real life in my sleep. And let me tell you it is not a little scream it is like a blood curdling scream that would be on a horror movie, or you would hear if someone was being murdered. I only know this from what I've been told and how bad my throat hurts the next day. I guess what I do is called a night terror and I have no control of it.
I told Tyler about my little night terrors so he would be forewarned. Because if I didn't and one happened it would not only have been mean, but maybe funny. Don't worry though, because the first time it happened it was hilarious. And the second. And the third time hasn't happened yet. But I'm sure it will be funny too.
Anyways the story is pretty simple. I screamed bloody murder and scared the shiz out of Tyler. He woke up screaming and he was so scared. (I am laughing right now remembering it) Because of all his screaming, it woke me up and I just laughed and laughed and laughed at him. He then regains his manlyness and says "What the HECK were you screaming at? You are so dumb. QUIT laughing at me. You scared the shiz out of me. Please stop laughing. Don't laugh harder. Just quit laughing at me. It wasn't that funny. Me: hahahahahahahaha you should have seen your face!!!
I was free from being in trouble for it being a practical joke. Because remember I had forewarned him of my night terrors. And I got a non purpose joke out of it I guess you could say. I still laugh about it and it was pee your pants funny.
Moral of the story. Of course we still love each other. Of course I really do draw a line down the middle of our bed. And I think before you get married you should be "forewarned" of how difficult it is to get sleep when you are getting used to someone's sleeping "malfunctions"
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